Homecoming Primer -- October 12, 2008

Hello Freshparents:

Two years ago, when my oldest was a freshman, he told me that he wanted to take a girl to homecoming. The mother of that girl also has a freshman this year and we moms reminisced recently about how clueless we were back then. With the help of the other class liaisons, I would like to present to you this primer on the Newport homecoming experience. Basically, this is all the information I wish I had two years ago.

Homecoming Week: October 20 to 25

During the Week
Much like the Spirit Week that led up to the Disco Dance, each day of Homecoming Week has a particular theme. These are fun themes announced in advance to the student body via morning announcements and posters in the hallway. It's not necessary to dress up, but most students and many teachers do get into the act. Keep in mind that the normal dress code still applies. Competitions and activities occur at lunchtime in the cafeteria.

Thursday, October 23
On Thursday night of homecoming week, students from each grade decorate an assigned area in the school according to the theme assigned to that class. This year the freshman theme is DINOSAURS and they will decorate the main office in a Jurassic Park scheme. Jake Nonis, the freshman class advisor, will supervise this activity. In the days leading up to this event, you may hear a lot about “hall decs” and your student may ask you to "lend" items which may or may not survive the day. Without the funds that other classes have, freshmen rely on donations from parents. On Thursday night, the students get quite warm, so parents may stop by with a case of water or some snacks. The freshman area is more chaotic than the others as this is their first time "managing" a project of this magnitude. Resist the urge to manage it for them!!

Friday, October 24
On Friday morning, the halls are judged by a team of teachers, and the winners announced at the Homecoming Assembly Friday afternoon. The Homecoming Assembly is the most spirited, goofy, fun assembly of the year. Please do not be alarmed when your student reports that many senior boys showed up in Cheer or Drill uniforms for this assembly.

Friday night is the Homecoming football game at 7:00 p.m. on the football field. A surprising number of recent grads do attend.

Saturday, October 25
The Homecoming Dance is a school-sponsored activity on Saturday evening from 9:00 pm to midnight. At this event, many freshmen will dress up according to their interpretation of the dinosaur theme.Cave men and women are also allowed as the theme is based on time periods.

The Ask:
This is traditionally considered a "date" dance, although it's perfectly acceptable to attend alone or with a group of friends. The vast majority of kids attend in a group of couples. At Homecoming, the boys generally ask the girls but almost none of them do it by picking up the phone or texting to ask for a date. The first phase consists of floating trial balloons – either the boys communicate through their friends that they are interested in asking a particular girl or the girls communicate through their friends that they are interested in a particular boy asking them. These are all back-room maneuvers that are exhausting and stressful but that result in a boy asking a girl whom he’s fairly certain will say yes. Then the boys plan a more or less elaborate method to ask the girl – a scavenger hunt, anonymous gifts left on the doorstep, balloons floating in the pool at swim team practice, the question appearing on the Factoria Cinema sign. The girls respond in kind to give their answer. Your student may invite a high-school age student from another school. I will forward the guest invitation form in another email.

Activities:
Some groups plan optional activities on Friday night or Saturday during the day. They carve pumpkins, go bowling, take a hike, bake a dessert for after the dance. This does not have to be an expensive outing, it can be as simple and casual as throwing a Frisbee or football in a park.

Pictures:
After the kids get dressed according to the theme, they often gather at one home with all their associated parents for pictures and a little parent socializing. All the parents will be there. It is perfectly OK for you to be there. If your child says otherwise, he's wrong.

Transportation:
It's great when they form groups of SIX so that the group can fit neatly into a mini-van or SUV. Parent drivers are the norm for freshman students.

Attire:
Newport's Homecoming is meant to be for everyone, so it is not formal or semi-formal. It's more of a costume ball. Students really do dress for the theme. Mixed-grade couples usually dress in the theme of the older student's class. Again, the usual dress code still applies.

Finances:
While the student and his/her date can work out any arrangement they like, there are some conventions about who buys what. Traditionally, the boys buy/arrange dinner and the dance tickets. The girls pay for pictures and dessert. No corsages/boutonnières for Homecoming.

Dinner:
Dinner before the dance can be at the home of a friend whose mom is a wonderful cook. It is relaxing, fun, cheap! Their choice of restaurant is somewhat limited by the goofy clothes they'll be wearing, so it's unlikely they'll want to go to Canlis – more like Cucina! Cucina!

Dessert:
This tradition has evolved over the years. The kids usually gather at one person's home after the dance (yes, it's after midnight now) to eat dessert and visit. So parents, plan on staying up late.

After Dessert:
Why, they go home, of course!

Final Word:
While I have written out these procedures in an orderly fashion, they generally don’t happen like this for freshmen. The larger the group, the more difficult it is to reach a consensus. This is where I went wrong two years ago. Every time I asked my son who was in the group or where they were going to dinner, his story changed. My mistake was to keep asking him – I should have gone straight to the other parents. It is acceptable to call the parents of the other students involved to find out what they know about the plans. In fact, it’s not only acceptable, it’s advisable! Two years ago I didn’t find out “for sure” what was happening until the morning of the dance when another mother called me. It was a relief to finally get some facts! This year I plan to give my daughter until October 22 to give me the facts. If there aren’t any or there aren’t enough, I will start calling the other parents. You have my permission to do the same!

Although our students will claim that “everyone goes to Homecoming,” the fact is that only about 1/3 of the student body attends. All of the components of Homecoming listed above are not requirements – you may view them as a la cart items. Contrary to the beliefs of many of our children, parents still have the final say!